Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
