Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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