I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
