i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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