that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize