I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
