Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize