I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
