We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I understand Curling. That high.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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