I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize