Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
