I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
