If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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