i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
