apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
