There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she smelled like a LAN party
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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