youre lurking in front of me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
