I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
