Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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