You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
