people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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