they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
