u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my nose is crying tears of wow.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
