If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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