somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
