I accidentally had phone sex last night
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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