I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We were destined to go to rehab together
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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