OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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