If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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