I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
