im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
