matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
babies were throwing up all over the place
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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