I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
