I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So many bounce houses so little time
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
