I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize