A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
