shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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