i jhust puked up my retainher.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
