Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
it's great music for shaving your balls
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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