How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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