Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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