I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
