even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
