well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
