96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
