Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
