that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
