I could have mohawked her pubes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
