You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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