I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
