Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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