Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Randomize
