It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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