My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
