The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
