Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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