You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
